SUPPORT: How do I open up?

11th July, 2017    |    By  Project Rockit    |     3.1k

“How are you?” Good… In Episode 8 of PRTV we challenge this stock-standard interaction that so many of us have on an everyday basis. The reality is, sometimes it’s hard to open up when things aren’t ‘good,’ but sometimes we’ve got to let people support us in order for things to get better.

1. What are the top three things that somebody can give YOU when you’re in need of support?
2. What can we do to make sure others feel comfortable opening up to us?
3. Why do so many people find it easier to ask for help online compared to offline? And why is it still helpful to get face-to-face support too?

If you or a friend is looking for support, we recommend checking out the following sites:

– www.reachout.com – decent info on topics that are sometimes awkward to talk about
– www.eheadspace.com – talk to someone online, over the phone or set up an appointment face-to-face


Also check the related topics:  

Anxiety Stress What is it like getting help? Suicide Supporting a friend with a mental illness Eating Disorders Self harm Psychosis and other mental illnesses Coping with grief

Video provided by Project Rockit

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Video Transcription

SUPPORT: How do I open up?

Alright, Ash, I’m going to ask you a question, and I can 100% predict your answer. You ready?
Ash: I doubt it.
M: Okay, let’s do this. How are you, Ash?
Ash: Yeah, good thanks.
M: Exactly, every time. “Yeah, good thanks,” right?
Ash: That’s what I say every time.
M: It’s what we all say, and even when things aren’t good or they’re not okay, people just give that answer: “Yeah, good thanks.”
Ash: True.
M: The thing is, we’re told all the time that there are these resources out there, and it’s okay to get help. But when people are going through a really stormy time, I reckon that’s when they have a danger of shutting down the most.
Ash: Right.
M: Yeah, I reckon it could be pretty hard to open up sometimes though, right? Like, maybe you feel like there’s a risk you might embarrass yourself, or like you don’t trust that person. Or maybe you just start thinking, “Well, the way I’m feeling is just normal.”
Ash: Oh, totally. Or on the flip, you’re worried that you’re completely not normal, and you’re wondering, “Am I a weirdo? Am I a freak? Am I just an attention seeker? Am I making something out of nothing?”
M: Yeah. Well, newsflash: you’re none of those things just because you need some support, right?
Ash: Absolutely.
M: I’m starting to think the problem is the problem, Ash. Let me—sorry, let me put it this way. When I was at school, one of my mates noticed I’d been quiet for a while and asked me that question. He was like, “Hey man, how are you?” And I answered honestly: “Oh yeah, I’m not well, man.” His response to me was something like, “Oh, M, you’ve got a problem. You need help.” And I was like, “Oh man, I’ve got a problem.” I just felt like I wasn’t normal for feeling that way.
Ash: Right, okay. I think I get what you mean. It’s like you’re saying that the last thing anyone needs when they’re going through a rough time is to feel like it’s a massive problem and they have to deal with it in a really kind of confronting way, right?
M: Yeah, exactly. And that’s why I reckon it’d be pretty cool if we could just get rid of the word “problem” altogether. Like, what if we could just say, “Actually, I’m getting help because I’m freaking awesome and I deserve it”?
Ash: Yeah, but then once we accept that we need help, where do we actually go to get help?
M: Well, we’ve posted some links to some awesome organizations in the description of this video for you to check out, because the online world is a cracking place to start getting help, right?

It reminds me of my good friend Matt, who started this thing after a significant event in his life. He started adding a hashtag to his photos of his friends: #TellYourFriendsYouLoveThem. That was his way of showing them, ahead of time, that he had their back. I mean, just because they’re a bunch of, like, massive blokey skater dudes, they’re not going to do it the same way as me. But they can do it any way they like, right?
Ash: Yeah. Well, like my mate who asked me how I was and said I had a problem. I asked him about it a while back, and he was like, “Oh, I just didn’t know how to react.” So after that conversation, we were like, “Well, maybe feelings are something we should be talking about.”
M: Okay, so now do you find it easier to talk to your mates?
Ash: To be honest, not really. Like, we kind of find it hard to talk about our emotions. But actually, me and my mates invented this thing. It’s called “footy talk,” right? Instead of talking poetically about our emotions and stuff, we talk like it’s footy. So I’ll be like, “Hey mate, how you playing?” They might respond with something like, “Oh, pretty low on the ladder,” or maybe, “I’m kicking goals today.” I know it sounds pretty corny, but I mean, it works for us.
M: Okay, so Ash, how’s your footy game going?
Ash: Yeah, it’s good, thanks.
M: Okay. I love that footy talk works for your mates. Obviously, I might not pull that off. I guess we all show our support in different ways. And taking support might mean accepting footy talk from your mates, or letting them take you on some big crazy adventure to celebrate you when you’re feeling flat, or allowing them to be proud of something that you’re usually proud of but aren’t right now. I think that’s how we can accept support from our friends, right?
Ash: Yeah.
M: So, well, next time someone asks you how you are, maybe just tell them how you’re really feeling.
Ash: Totally.
M: So when you find yourself in struggle town, that’s something you should never have to own alone. Am I right?
Ash: Totally right.
M: So now’s the part where we actually go and kick the footy. Let’s go! Come on.
[Music]
Ash: Mate.
M: Yeah.

Video by Project Rockit