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What is it like getting help? Starting in a new place Boy/girlfriend relationship Psychosis and other mental illnesses AnxietyVideo provided by headspace
WEBSITEI had a very good education, I went to a really nice school. A bit of a high achiever at school. I was a prefect in year 12 and school vice captain. I was very organised. I was always a very happy person, loved going to school, ’cause I’d see my mates every day. But when I finished school, that structure was taken away from me, and that’s when I guess some complications probably came up and things got a bit more difficult. The unknown probably scared me a bit in terms of, I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring.
The uncertainty of whether or not I’d get into the uni course I wanted to get into. I also had a bit of a relationship breakdown at that point as well. I was always thinking about the worst-case scenario, and I had a lot of intrusive thoughts that started to come into my head. I started cleaning my room, vacuuming the floor like four, five times a day. Cleaning excessively. It’d take me six hours, so that was my day gone. And then I wouldn’t get to see friends and stuff because I thought what I had to do was more important.
The compulsions were a way of alleviating the anxiety I was feeling. It became a real problem because I guess it started taking over from my daily life, and then it became my priority making sure my room was spotless. I guess I viewed my room as somewhat of a masterpiece, and I would compare it to something like Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa, which sounds really silly to say, but for me, internally, that’s what I honestly believed. When someone would sort of come into my room, if it was my brothers or my family member or whatever, you know, it was like, well, after I completed this task and this ritual, someone had drawn a moustache on my Mona Lisa and, you know, jeopardised the integrity of this beautiful masterpiece. That would just ruin everything, and I’d have to start again. So it was really consuming, obviously, and very taxing on my existence.
I would make excuses not to see people, but, you know, in reality, I was just cleaning my room. I remember, I guess, when my parents decided that this was something that probably needed to be dealt with, they drove me to a GP and I had a conversation with him. I thought I was the only person in the world that was having these things. It felt good to know that I wasn’t the only one. Certainly gave me some perspective on things, and allowed me to come to grips with this as something I needed to take control of. The GP set up an appointment for me to meet with a psychiatrist. That was the beginning of the journey, in terms of just discussing what was going on.
When I would disclose the fact that, yeah, I was suffering from OCD to people, they were just surprised and they still are. The support of my friends was really important, and it was always overwhelming, their reactions and responses and how compassionate they were towards me. My first year of university, a spokesperson from headspace came and did a presentation. I had no idea that this service existed. A youth-friendly space, to me, was just saying that seems just so brilliant. It’s confidential, it’s private, and people there actually understand what young people are going through.
I think something that’s really important is to remember that you’re never alone in this journey. Like a really good place to start would be somewhere like headspace. I guess I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll probably have this condition my whole life, but it’s just about management. Perspective has been the biggest thing for me. I look at a lot of things now and view them as trivial when I previously viewed them as being high priority. I’m pretty proud of where I am now. Having people in my room, moving stuff around and touching things. It’s almost like back to where I was before it all happened. It’s a full circle.
Take that first step, because you’d just be surprised and amazed at how effective it can be, and really turn your situation around and get you back on track.
Speaking to someone about your problems can be the first steps to a solution.
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