Tips on asking R U OK?

6th September, 2022    |    By  R U OK?    |     615

R U OK Ambassadors answer some of your R U OK? conversation questions and provide tips for checking in with those you care about. For more conversation tips, head to ruok.org.au.


Also check the related topics:  

Supporting a friend with a mental illness Managing friendships Helping a friend

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Tips on asking R U OK?

Generally, I’ll be looking for things like a change in behaviour—when they retreat and don’t engage with me, or when they don’t enjoy doing the things that they normally enjoy. But sometimes, there are none of those signs, so you should always ask.

Any moment you choose is the right moment to ask, “Are you okay?” But it’s very important to make sure that you’re in the right headspace to listen and to respond. Where I’m able to, I take the time to listen intently and just be present for that individual. You can use the words “Are you okay?” or you can use language that’s more comfortable for the way you interact with your friends or your family.

I’ll then advise them of anything that I’ve observed, or I guess the reason for why I’m asking them if they’re okay.

I’ll let them know that it’s okay if they decide that they want to share what’s bothering them with me at a later time. They can speak with me at any time—I’m always here to listen. But I would also make sure that they maybe think about or consider other people that they feel comfortable engaging with.

The most important thing to do is just listen and have an open mind. Sometimes, people don’t want you to solve their problems; they just want someone to listen. The most important thing is to stay calm and have an open mind. If they get emotional or feel a bit reserved and vulnerable, let them fully express themselves.

Once they’ve shared that information with me, I gently encourage them to possibly seek help if they require it.

I would guide them and assist them with accessing those services by providing them with various contact numbers or websites to access. If someone’s life is in immediate danger, please call triple zero.

Keep it simple, keep it casual. I don’t need to solve their problems. I don’t need to be an expert. Sometimes, they just want someone to listen, listen without judgment, listen intently, and just be present with that individual. That’s a great opportunity to stop little problems from becoming big problems and to remind the people in your life that you care about them.

It’s made me feel valued, respected, and human. It makes me feel like people are around and are there to support me whenever I need. Ask, “Are you okay?” No qualifications needed.

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