Video Transcription
Felicia’s Story: #EveryBODYisDeadly
My name is Felicia Fox, and my birth name is Wendell French. I’m a proud Kamalari and Dun guiding sister girl, and I am from Campbelltown. I have always had body issues and struggled with my body image and the body image that I portrayed. Growing up and struggling with my sexual identity, whether I was gay or not, and seeing the portrayed image of what a gay male was supposed to look like on the gay scene in Sydney, I always thought that my body wasn’t good enough or that I didn’t fit into environments or scenes or little cliques that they already had here in Sydney.
For me, body image concerns or problems started at a very young age. Growing up in a male-dominated family that was very athletic, and seeing that they were more masculine and beefy, I always thought that I was the little black sheep of the family, being a little skinny, slim, straight-up-and-down one. I thought that wasn’t normal. I thought I had to portray the exact body image that they portrayed. I started to push everyone away. I didn’t hang around with many people. I probably made myself more depressed than I should have been by keeping myself locked away and not putting myself into environments where I was paranoid about going into a venue or a situation where I thought I was going to get judged. But I was most likely not going to get judged, but I had it in my head.
Around family and friends, I didn’t want to speak to them about it. I didn’t want them to know that deep down inside, I hated the way I looked. I guess I just kept it to myself for a very long time until, in my head, I decided I wouldn’t open up to somebody about it until I heard that they had similar issues or had experienced something like this in the past.
Doing drag for me has made me love myself immensely. I love myself all around now. With my drag, I’ll tell stories through body peace and body positivity. I’ll undress myself on stage. I don’t wear stockings now. I used to be ashamed of my scars and, you know, I was born with a dent in my chest. Now I embrace that, and I show my body through my drag, embracing what we were born with and showing people that I love myself. Like the saying goes, “Love yourself before you love anybody else.” I’m just really showing and connecting with people in the crowd when I’m performing. I hope that people see me loving my most unique, authentic self.
For me, what really helped me overcome my issues was speaking out about them. Just like anything else in the world, you’re not going to know something’s up or read somebody’s mind until they do come out and speak up about something. Finding someone that you do have a lot of trust in is probably the most important thing because you need to speak up about those shared experiences. I guess that’s the way we move forward as a person—speaking about our issues and overcoming them.
I’ve learned, facing the issues that I’ve faced, that it’s okay to feel anything that you’re feeling. It’s okay, and still today, I wake up and look in the mirror and look at some parts of my body and think, “This could be better, that could be better.” But I just wake up every day and feel grateful now that I’ve spoken about these issues to people because I know that, you know, some days I’m going to feel bad about my body, and some days I’m going to feel good. So, never compare yourself to anybody in this world and think that you should look exactly like them or that you should portray the fantasy of what you’re supposed to look like. Know that you are perfect, and every inch of you is unique. There’s not a body on this earth exactly like yours. So, love yourself, share your experiences, and speak out.
Video by The Butterfly Foundation
