Checking in means a lot

29th March, 2019    |    By  R U OK?    |     1.6k

“Sometimes you just need that helping hand” Shannel and Shaquille show how trusting your gut instinct and reaching out can change a life. This video was created for the Stronger Together campaign. Get behind the campaign at ruok.org.au/strongertogether


Also check the related topics:  

Depression Anxiety What is it like getting help? Stress Supporting a friend with a mental illness

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Checking in means a lot

I think what made me notice that, you know, you were going through a tough time was I think you were kind of disengaging from everyone. You went off social media and stuff, and we all know that you like a social media post. For me, it was only right to check in to see how you’re going and, you know, where you’re at with things and just to reassure you that, you know, I was here to help if need be. And yeah, just there to like listen and be that support that you needed through that time. You always gave me the best advice, I think, and it really, really helped me with my situation and how I was feeling. Sometimes you just need a helping hand and someone that, you know, has got more of a clearer mindset to give you that guidance that you needed through that tough time.

Yeah, for sure, I agree. And sometimes, you know, that shame factor as well, and, you know, embarrassment, I guess, comes with that as well. And especially, you know, within like our community, we know how fast the Koori grapevine is, and we don’t want everyone knowing our business. So I just made sure that it was just us two and that, you know, we had plenty of time to discuss it. It wasn’t just like, you know, a quick conversation. It was something that, you know, we had to nut out and, you know, you had to get off your chest. We’ve always gone on our car drives and just cruised around everywhere. I guess it kind of gave us a good time to just talk, and yeah, we made sure that we both listened to each other and I guess had each other’s backs through, you know, the things we were both dealing with.

You were someone I could talk to, someone that listened, but also gave me some hard advice. You know, you told it like how it was, and I think that kind of whipped me into shape and made me rethink a lot of things, so you helped me heaps. A lot of people, especially Aboriginal Torres Strait Islanders, we like to keep things bottled up. We don’t like to show people our emotions, or we always try and be strong and put on that front. But you never know who’s going to need that, you know, that one little question, you know what I mean? And I think it’s very important because the amount of suicide that’s happening, especially in our communities, you never know who needs it.

We’re used to always, you know, being strong and stuff like that, and you know, it’s always good to check in with people, even your strong friends. Like there’s been a lot of stuff on social media around like, you know, who’s there for the strong friend. Yeah, no, I agree, especially, you know, with Aboriginal communities and Torres Strait Islanders. Their inter-generational trauma, that has a huge impact on all of us, and I don’t think we realise that either, of how much of the impact it does have. It’s just important to, you know, make sure that you take action and, you know, you’re not going to fix things overnight, but just little steps to make sure that that person’s at least able to cope.

Yeah, talking to you helped me immensely. Like I really couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you. I’ll pay ya later. I’m very lucky to have a friend like you.

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