If it’s your first time having sex, you probably have loads of questions on your mind, but you may not feel comfortable talking about them. And that’s totally normal. To put your mind at ease, we’ve compiled a list of some of the really important stuff you should know before,during, and after doing the deed.
- You’ve just started thinking more about sex
- You’re curious about sex
- You feel ready to have sex for the first time
Get the deets before getting in the sheets
So, you’ve decided that you’re ready to have sex for the first time. Good for you! If you’re going to have a healthy relationship with sex, it’s important that you’re responsible about it and you’ve got all the important info that you need to practice safe sex:
- It hardly seems fair, but you can contract a sexually transmitted infection even if it’s your first time having sex. Make sure you use condoms or dams to protect yourself. Check out our contraception fact sheet for more info on having safe sex.
- If you’re a guy and girl having vaginal sex, you can also get pregnant your first time (or get someone pregnant). So again, make sure you understand contraception and choose the right one for you before you have sex.
What to expect?
Pain? If you’ve heard about the pain that comes with losing your V-plates, the idea of getting freaky might totally freak you out. But don’t believe everything you hear – some people find their first time having sex to be really comfy, fun, and enjoyable. For others, it does feel uncomfortable, and it can hurt.
What to do: If you do experience pain during sex, you might not have enough lubrication, you may need to try a different sexual position, or ask your partner to slow down. It could also be from a lack of desire or arousal, or feeling nervous about having sex. If it hurts a hell of a lot, stop. It shouldn’t be super painful, so talk to your partner about ways you can make sex more comfortable. If it’s really concerning you, have a chat to your GP.What the hymen? For women, there can be bleeding the first time they have vaginal sex if their hymen ruptures. It’s normal to bleed and it’s equally normal not to bleed.
After having sex for the first time, you might be feeling a bunch of different things. It’s not uncommon to feel:
- Worried or guilty
- Extra affectionate
Sex is a personal way to feel close to someone, so it’s understandable if you experience intense feelings post sex. If you’re worried about the feelings you’re having, talk it through with your partner or someone you can trust, like a good friend, family member or a counsellor.