Tools for coping with grief and loss with Allira Potter

28th July, 2023    |    By  Reach Out    |     451

Writer, podcaster and Yorta Yorta woman Allira Potter shares how hard it was to lose her mum, and offers advice for those experiencing their own grief and loss.


Also check the related topics:  

Coping with grief Mental Health

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Tools for coping with grief and loss with Allira Potter

Hello, folks. My name is Alira Pora. My pronouns are she and they, and I’m a proud woman.

I’m here to talk to you about grief. I want to share my experience about dealing with grief, how I’ve supported friends through the grieving process, what grief may feel like when you are experiencing it, and just a couple of tips if you are going through a grieving process.

I will also say that grief doesn’t necessarily sit with the passing of a loved one. It can be the grief of a relationship breakdown, the grief of a friendship—it could be a whole list of things.

When I was 17, I sadly lost my mum to cancer. This was the first time in my life that I had truly felt and experienced what grief felt like and looked like. I won’t sit here and sugarcoat it—it was definitely, probably, one of the hardest experiences that I have ever gone through.

I just remember feeling all these feelings of grief: sadness, anger, a feeling of numbness, and also experiencing what I like to call brain fog, where I couldn’t really feel present in life. I was in this constant fog.

It did come to a point where I had to really look after myself. I had to do certain things to help me move forward but also understand that grief and the grieving process may be with me for a really long time.

I found that getting out in nature brought mindfulness and made me feel a lot more present. It helped me check in with my senses—the smells, and just being fully immersed in what was happening.

I also found that nourishing my body with any type of food—anything I could put into my body—was important. I made sure I was nourishing myself with mindfulness.

Making things and creating things was another little hack. It almost distracted me from a couple of things too.

I also want to share a couple of things if you are supporting a friend who is going through the grieving process.

I remember my friends didn’t know exactly what to do, but they would do things like drop food at my door or send me an Uber Eats meal. They would also do really simple things like sending me a text message to say, “Hey, I know I’m not going to be able to fix what’s happening, but I’m here if you need me.”

I think that’s the most important thing.

The final thing I want to leave you with is to give yourself time and space to heal during the grieving process. Everything is going to be okay, and I like to think that whatever I am feeling right here and right now is just a temporary feeling.

Just know that you are fully supported and that there is support around you to help if you are feeling really overwhelmed.

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