Video Transcription

R U OK?’s Carpool Conversations: Steve Bastoni

Steve Bastoni:
Hey Brendan! Welcome to Carpool Conversations.
Thank you, mate. Thanks for picking me up. It was pretty cold out there.
Oh, no worries.

My first question is really about, you know, what’s life like as a burnt-out, out-of-work actor these days?
Laughter
I’m glad you asked because life’s great. I’ve got three beautiful children, I run my own business nowadays, and I do manage to find time to make my mental health a priority. And that’s why I’m here.

You’ve actually been flying the mental health and suicide prevention flag for seven or eight years now. Now you’re also an Ambassador for R U OK?
Yep. What kind of got you here?
I’m horrified by the statistics around male suicide in Australia. I think that our attitude of, you know, just drink a cup of concrete and suck it up, princess, and all these kinds of stuff just isn’t helpful.
I guess it’s just really important to have these conversations to de-stigmatize the shame that’s associated with mental health. You know, when people are down, they’re reluctant to reach out, particularly men in this country. You know?
We don’t talk about our emotional state very often.

Why is that, and what can we do about it?
You know, how do we get men to be more connected?
Well, I think firstly we’ve got to stop framing it as a weakness. The idea that a man can’t share his emotions or shouldn’t have or feel emotions is just toxic.
You know.

So how do you draw that out of someone if you’re worried about a mate?
Yeah, you know, I find that you can go for a walk down the beach or go to the park and kick the footy around, or at a barbecue you can just pull someone aside and go, “Mate, you know, I’ve noticed that you haven’t been returning my calls,” or “You know, I noticed you’re not yourself. You know, you haven’t been your fun-loving self and I’m a bit worried about you.”
And sometimes just knowing that someone’s noticed and cares is enough to make them reach out and share that burden.

You know, there are a lot of signs when someone’s not travelling well.
The way I approach it is I always find it’s really valuable for me to share a little bit about how I’m travelling.
If I bring down my barriers, if I bring down my armour for a minute, then it gives you license to bring down yours.
You know? Like now I often will talk about my own experience with addiction and depression to someone who I think is struggling. Because what it does is it actually gives them license to do the same.

Mate, for anyone who’s seen our Carpool Conversation, if they were to walk away with one thing and forget everything else we’ve spoken about, if you could leave them with one thing, what would that be?
I guess the most important thing for me to remember is I’m not alone. You know, there’s always someone who’d be willing to help me. All I have to do is reach out, you know?

Mate, it’s very true, and mate, we seriously value your support. I’m gonna find a safe place to let you out so you can keep exploring this beautiful Ballarat town.
This looks like a safe place around here.
No worries, mate. See you, brother. Keep up the good work, Brendan.
Thanks, mate.
Laughter

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