Video Transcription

Getting through tough times

Living through tough times can be a real challenge. It can seem unfair, and most of us don’t know what to do to change our mood or to help our mates feel better. Every year, thousands of young Australians go through tough times, experiencing trauma, grief, and other stressful things like family breakups, bullying, natural disasters, abuse, neglect, violence, injury, and illness.

The impact of trauma can take over your whole life. Your emotions can seem really overwhelming and too big to deal with. You might have trouble sleeping and experience nightmares, or feel down or worried all the time. Later, I’ll show you where to find help and how to connect with us. But first, let’s meet a couple of people who are going to share their stories.

I was at the café working when I got the first text. At first, I thought it was nothing, so I ignored it. I only had an hour of my shift left anyway. By the time I got Mum’s voicemail, we were being evacuated. I can still hear the trembling in her voice.

My boss was ticked when I told her, but she closed up and started driving me home. The sky got blacker the closer we got. My boss is usually pretty chilled, but that day she was making me feel so stupid for being scared.

I can’t remember how I knew where to go, but I’ll never forget Mum’s face when she saw me walk into the shelter up at the high school. She was pacing about on her mobile. Then she saw me, dropped her phone, burst into tears, and ran towards me. I thought someone had died, but she was just happy to see me.

She made me tea. There were all these ladies making sandwiches. Dad packed the randomest stuff—I mean, who grabs bills but not photos? He didn’t even get my laptop. The worst thing? I didn’t even think about Jones. Now I can’t stop thinking about her, and every time I do, I get this clench in my stomach.

They made me see this counsellor. I didn’t really know what to say. My English teacher tried to make me write about how I felt, but how can you write about nothing? I’ve only seen Dad cry twice—once at Nan’s funeral, and the day we came to look at the ashes. I didn’t know what to do.

Kate’s right—sometimes no one knows what to do, especially after a disaster. Talking works for some people. Some people find writing helps. But for others, time can be the only thing that helps.

Luke’s story is different again.

I used to be pretty good at school. It was hard to care during that time. I got sent to the deputy’s office. He asked me what was wrong with me. I didn’t think he actually cared, but he really wanted to know, so I told him. I guess no one had told the school that Dad was sick. Mum was busy just trying to make ends meet.

You would have thought the power company would have known better, but they cut us off. I told the deputy, and he gave me a key to the gym so I could start having showers again. He worked out something where I got free food at the canteen.

Just when things were looking up, I came home and found Mum crying. I thought Dad had died, but then I heard his unmistakable cough. We had to move out. Dad didn’t come—he moved into the hospital. I hated that place. Mum was with him when he died.

I was supposed to go with her, but she didn’t let me because she was going straight to work. I hated her for so long for that. I should have been there. I’ll never get that back. What if there was something he needed to tell me? What if there was something I wanted to say? I hated her for not letting me go. I hated him for dying. I hated everyone and everything.

Some of my teachers were at the funeral. The deputy organized counselling. They gave me books about dying and stuff. One day, I helped Mum, and she crumbled. I didn’t know what to do, so I just held her. And she just cried.

My friends think I’m tough because I’m friends with the deputy, and he’s usually such a hard nut. I think they’re just playing along with me, though.

Sometimes we need help, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Luckily for Luke, he got help. It didn’t save his dad, but it might just have saved him.

If you need help when bad stuff happens, don’t wait until the sadness becomes too big, the pressure seems too great, or life feels like too much. Connect with the Trauma and Grief Network today.

Video by Trauma, Loss & Grief Network