Video Transcription

RUMOURS: How do we support someone targeted?

What you’re about to see is a dramatic reenactment of how a rumor actually spreads.

“What is that smell? Is that Archie? I heard that Archie smells really bad today.”
“Did you hear that? Archie smells like a foot!”
“So apparently, Archie has put deodorant on his feet?”

Okay, maybe not so realistic. But although that was totally ridiculous, it does kind of show the way a story can spread, especially online.

Yeah, and obviously, rumors can be a lot harsher than that example. And we know that sometimes rumors actually ruin people’s reputations.

They might start spreading by accident, like if the story’s been misunderstood, misheard, autocorrected, or if really important details are left out. But often, a story is changed on purpose. It might be exaggerated to get a laugh, or maybe somebody changes it to make another person look bad.

Yeah, and we might not mean for our gossip to affect people, but chances are, it will. And we want to demonstrate this with that same rumor we shared before.

“So, did you hear about Archie’s hygiene problems? Apparently, he hasn’t showered all week. I’ve heard he’s got some pretty messed-up stuff happening at home.”
“Hey, come on. We don’t know that.”

Okay, that time, the story did get out of hand, but somebody did shut it down.

Yeah, and it can be scary to be that person. But obviously, the easiest way to stop the spread of hate is to just not pass it on in the first place.

But if that story is about someone you know, you may need to take it a step further in order to be a solid support for that person.

Yeah, and maybe you’re not sure what you can say, but this could help.

On the left-hand side of the screen, I’m going to show what would be unhelpful to say to someone targeted by a rumor, and on the right-hand side, I’m going to show you what is helpful:

Unhelpful: “Just make up something worse.”
Helpful: “Look, I can tell you’re upset, and you have every right to be. But let’s just talk about it for a sec before you react.”

Unhelpful: “Maybe, like, just don’t worry about it.”
Helpful: “I can’t explain why they do this to you, but if you want to talk to them, I can be there with you.”

Unhelpful: “I reckon you should fight them. I’m gonna, like, cut them.”
Helpful: “You know who you are, and you know what’s true. Hang on to that.”

Unhelpful: “I’m so sick of hearing about this. Everyone’s talking about it. Can’t we just, like, talk about something else?”
Helpful: “I was just about to do something, but let’s talk about this first.”

Unhelpful: “Yeah, I heard. But it’s true, right? I heard that your feet totally reek because your brother made you stand in a bucket of cat food.”
Helpful: “I heard what they’re saying—that sucks. But remember, there are people who know you for who you are, and I promise I’m one of those people.”

For someone already experiencing a whole bunch of gossip, it can be an incredibly anxious time. It’s a time when you need your friends to calm the drama, not make it worse.

We actually want to finish this video by speaking to you if you’re someone who has had a rumor spread about you.

First of all, we just want to say sorry. What you’re going through is so not cool, and hopefully, you do have some people standing by your side.

The reality is, we can’t always shut down a rumor immediately. But the best piece of advice I’ve ever been given in really tough times is to not pay attention so much to the haters and instead focus on the people who do know you—who see who you are, no matter what’s being said about you.

And we’re not saying, “Don’t worry about it.” We know how stressful these situations can be. But focus on what you can control, like how you react, who you listen to, and where you invest your time and energy.

And next time you do hear a rumor about someone, you’ll be able to remember how that felt and use that to empathize and show someone else support.

So, you know what, Archie?

Hmm?

I think you have beautiful feet—even if you totally copied me.

Excuse me?

And I also think you smell really nice.

Thank you. Coming from you, Shorty.

Video by Project Rockit