Video Transcription

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Navigating relationships when you’re trying to juggle everything like school, work, and whatever life throws at you can be hard enough.
But when you throw disability into the mix, it can be an entirely new experience.
Exactly.
There isn’t like a guidebook to this kind of stuff, so whether you have or haven’t got a disability, it can be really tricky.
Yeah, and like you said, there’s not really good representation out there for what a relationship can look like with disability.
So if you’re like me, that sort of meant you’ve had to forge your own path.
But even if you haven’t, Jackson and I want to share some tips and tricks as to how to navigate relationships when it regards disability.
Yeah, and the more I’ve been talking to Ken, the more I realize that our abler society makes it really difficult for disabled people to find relationships when it shouldn’t be that way.
Absolutely.
And just to keep you up to speed, ableism is when someone without a disability is treated as or perceived better than someone with a disability.
So let’s get down to it.
Let’s talk about dating, friendships, and disability.
So my first really important question for you is, what is your star sign and what is your rising sign?
Focus, Jackson.
Okay, I’m deeply sorry, that was a joke.
Anyway, serious question: what do you think is the key to a relationship where disability is concerned?
Actually, hang on before you go, I want to write this down.
Oh, you’re really going for it.
I have prepared well.
Uh, I think mainly communication.
Communication is key to any healthy relationship, and this kind of sounds like the most vague advice ever, but especially when you or someone you know has a disability, knowing how to communicate and how best you communicate is really important to establishing a healthy relationship.
Yeah, communication is so important.
I mean, at Project Rocket, we believe in UPR—
That is Unconditional Positive Regard—which basically means assuming the best of someone first and not judging them.
I feel like judgment can make it really hard to have good and open communication with someone.
Exactly.
And communication can look different depending on your mood and energy levels, but even the type of relationship you have.
For example, I do a lot of my communication through speaking,
but you might prefer to be on the phone calling or texting.
You might also prefer to write down or draw your thoughts and feelings.
Really, it’s whatever works best for you and your partner.
Yeah, what I’ve been reading—boundaries might be super important.
Absolutely.
I mean, boundaries are important for everyone,
but especially if you have a disability, knowing what your boundaries are and communicating them is key to a good relationship.
I’ll give an example.
So, you know, I’ve had a rough day, and I come home—I don’t necessarily feel like physical touch at the moment or doing dishes because it’s just a sensory nightmare.
Instead of skirting around this issue or lying to my partner, I was open.
And not only was she understanding, but we’re able to create a system that ensures that she feels loved and that the chores are eventually done,
but I just don’t have to cross my boundary and do it when I’m not comfortable doing so.
And that’s not just with partners, even though that’s my example.
It can be with your friends, family, really anyone we know.
Relationships and dating can be super hard to navigate because you may have had little experience or you haven’t seen much representation of them.
But look at this whiteboard.
These work for all different kinds of relationships.
Just when it comes to disability, you might need to take a little bit of extra care.
Yeah, that’s right.
So whether it’s a friendship or dating, a good relationship takes good communication, has really good boundaries, and can teach you more about yourself and the world around you.
Exactly.
And lastly, remember that when you open yourself up to relationships that are not only accommodating of, but celebrate yours and others’ differences,
it just makes life so much more interesting.
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