R U OK? Ask the Experts: Michelle Lim

10th September, 2020    |    By  R U OK?    |     954
“My response when I hear someone is not OK is always to ask ‘What can I do?’ and I think it’s really important to ask that question as a follow up because what we might assume will help someone feel better may not actually make them feel better.” Dr Michelle Lim, Scientific Chair of Ending Loneliness Together, shares her tip for what to say after R U OK?

Also check the related topics:  

Supporting a friend with a mental illness

Video provided by R U OK?

WEBSITE   
SHARE

Video Transcription

R U OK? Ask the Experts: Michelle Lim

“So are you okay?” is a really fantastic opener, and it comes with connotations of care and concern from the right place. But what we do after that is also really critically important, and making sure that we convey sincerity, honesty, and a compassionate type of support to the person that needs it makes them feel comfortable. That means they’re more likely to ask for help or they’re more likely to just say, “You know what? I’m not having a great day.”

I think my response when I hear someone is not okay is always to ask, “What can I do?” You know, and I think it’s really important to ask that question as a follow-up because what we might assume would help someone feel better may not actually make them feel better. People do sometimes fall into a trap of trying to resolve someone’s problems or offering recommendations that may not be helpful to the person receiving them. So it’s always nice to be able to ask, “Actually, what would help? What is it that I can do to support you, or what is it that I can do to actually help shift things for you or help you have a better day today?”

Video by R U OK?