Video Transcription
Managing grief
When someone dies, it’s often unexpected and can leave you with intense and confusing feelings you’ve never experienced before. Death is an unavoidable part of life, but when it affects you personally, it’s hard to know what to do or say, or how to get through it.
There have been days where I just couldn’t face it. And I’d start crying as soon as I’d wake up. I couldn’t believe that Dad was gone. I just keep asking, “Why?” It’s coming to the one-year anniversary. I’m not sure how it’ll go.
I want to be with him so much. It was so hard watching Mum cry. I feel so empty now. I don’t know how to talk about it.
Grief is a normal reaction to the loss of someone or something important to you. Everyone grieves, but the way people grieve is different. Grief can affect every aspect of your life—your thoughts and feelings, your relationships, and even physically. It could be really intense, and you may feel like you’ll never be happy again.
It’s normal for young people to experience and express their grief in a whole range of different ways. From intense sadness to anger, guilt, anxiety, and at times, relief. Some people feel shock, disbelief, and a sense of emptiness or numbness. The circumstances of the loss can also have an impact, particularly if the death is sudden or unexpected. Grief can also impact young people’s concentration, sleep, appetite, and their normal day-to-day activities. Feelings of grief can last longer for some than for others, and over time, they usually become less intense.
At important times like birthdays and anniversaries, some of these feelings can return. There are some things you can do to help yourself: eat well, keep active, try to go to bed at the same time each night, and get up at the same time each morning. Keep your daily routine going as much as possible, like going to school or work. It can be really helpful to talk about feelings when you’re ready. Talk to someone you trust and feel comfortable with, like a friend or family member.
There are some unhelpful ways to grieve, like wiping yourself out or getting wasted. Using alcohol and other drugs is not a helpful way to manage grief and can make things more difficult. If you find that your grief is continuing for a long time or it’s really distressing and getting in the way of your life, it’s important to get help from a health professional. Look for someone you feel comfortable with. It might be a GP, school counsellor, or youth worker. Talking with a health professional might help you find new ways to manage your feelings.
And there are different ways to get help—on the phone, through services like Kids Helpline, or online support at Headspace. Grieving can take time, and it’s not unusual to experience ups and downs after a significant loss. Most people will find that things get easier as time goes on, especially after the first six months. Even when you’re grieving, you can still have moments of happiness. And you’ll have more and more over time. Allow yourself to feel happy without feeling guilty.
Talking openly about your loss can help you to cope better. And if you need some extra help, Headspace is a good place to go. It can be hard to imagine getting back to normal after the death of someone close, but in time, with help from family and friends, your grief will begin to lessen. You can find ways to remember and honour the person you cared about that will keep them part of your life forever.
Video by headspace
