Video Transcription

Mahalia’s Story: #ChangeThePicture

I was focusing on the way I looked, focusing on the way that my peers thought about me, and I was definitely focusing on being pretty—which, who knows what pretty is? Being pretty doesn’t mean that you have to look a particular way anymore. I definitely remember this point in time, and I think there’s a lot of pain that’s going to come up soon. Not sitting in the pain for as long as you have been sitting in it is the scariest part, but it’s where all the healing starts to happen. A lot of problems, especially with my mental health, have come from the fact that plus-size models weren’t included or they weren’t seen as valuable or anything that could be fashionable.

And also, being somebody who is a person of colour, mixed-race, and a plus-sized model, it’s like getting a double whammy. I thought my body was horrible at that point, and I was only 18. And that’s just crazy. There’s nothing wrong with it; it’s just the perception of what you think you’re supposed to believe is okay with it or wrong with it. I didn’t realize it until December just passed how deeply that it affected me.

I’m actually quite thankful that it was the Butterfly Foundation that reached out because I’ve just recently had a diagnosis of being body dysmorphic, which is kind of scary but also super liberating to know the name of it and to understand methods and feelings. Sorry, I had a really hard time. It’s just helpful to have a bridge such as the Butterfly Foundation to be able to help me not only work through it myself but to be able to talk to people about it in a really safe environment.

Video by Butterfly Foundation