Video Transcription
What it’s like being a young mum
I’m Ashlea, I’m 25 years old, and I’m a single parent to my two-year-old, Alfie. I live in Trinity Gardens, Adelaide. I’m Eleisha, I’m 25, I’m a single mum living in Munno Para West with my 5-year-old son, Asher. I’m April, I’m 22, I live at home with my daughter, Adriana. She is 5, and we live in Orange.
I found out that I was going to be a parent just after I finished my degree, three weeks before my graduation. I wasn’t planning on it happening. I met my son’s father, we liked each other, and the next thing I know, I was pregnant. I dropped out of school, got in with the wrong crowd, and one thing led to another. Then I had a kid. I was happy, but I was like, “Oh God, what have I gotten myself into?”
Basically, not having that nest egg that people in their late twenties or thirties have, not having a job, not having any savings, or any money already saved up. When you’re in your late teens and early twenties, you’re still trying to figure out who you are and what you want to do for the rest of your life. Then when a child is thrown into that, you go, “Okay, well now I have to rethink everything that I had planned for my life.”
I still felt very much a teenager. I didn’t feel prepared. Not having much support and being frowned upon for being such a young parent. Being a young parent has affected a lot of relationships that I’ve had with friends. They either don’t get it and kind of expect you to be the same person you were before you fell pregnant. They were all going out partying, and I was staying home bottle-feeding. Or they would want me to go out, but I couldn’t.
The best thing about being a young parent— a lot of people would say being able to be a kid because you’re not that far away from your childhood, you can still touch it and reach out. Being more able to keep up with them because I’m younger, my body is still kind of young. I think I can run around more and be more active. Knowing that I could still be alive when he has his kids and, hopefully, maybe great-grandkids. That would be cool. You’re able to look at the world through these new sets of eyes.
And you kind of forget all of the little things that we miss on a day-to-day basis. When she learns something new, when we’re driving in the car and she’s like, “What’s that?” or “What’s that mean?” or “I know that colour’s green” or “Red means stop.” When she comes out with things like that, it just makes me smile. When I smile, I know that I’m doing a good job at being a parent.
I’m not gonna lie, I love being a young parent. Speak to your family and friends, go to classes, go to playgroups, speak to other people in similar situations. If you’ve got a partner, try not to argue with each other because you’re going to need their support. And also, if you’re a united front and a team, it makes things so much easier.
One of the things I did to prepare myself was go to antenatal classes, sign up for mother’s groups, and just read. As much as you can prepare yourself, things will very much be different once they’re born. Advice I would give is that if you’re a single parent, get family behind you. You’re going to need it, and sometimes you’re going to need rest.
Video by Reach Out
