Kyle's story | Kyle Vander-Kuyp

12th January, 2021    |    By  Beyond Blue    |     1k

Kyle Vander-Kuyp talks about representing Australia at the Olympics, finding out he was adopted and his experience with depression. About Beyond Blue Established in October 2000, Beyond Blue initially focused on raising awareness of depression and reducing the associated stigma. As our knowledge and impact on people’s lives broadened, through research and community engagement, we added the key issue of anxiety conditions in 2011 and, more recently, suicide prevention to our core purpose.


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Kyle’s story | Kyle Vander-Kuyp

I still remember, finally, the principal getting me at the front of the assembly and saying, “We’ve got a champion hurdler at the school, and Kyle, show us—show everyone—your medal.” It was a big moment because it sort of made me realize the power of sport to give you an identity and to give you confidence and self-esteem.

I’m Kyle van der Kuyp. I’m a Yuin man from New South Wales, born in Sydney in 1971, and I was adopted when I was five weeks old. I get my Dutch surname from my dad, Van Der Kolk, and I’m actually Aboriginal and Irish.

I had a bit of name-calling at school. Kids had picked up on my skin colour and said things like, “Are you a boong? Are you Black?” It didn’t feel great. But sport came along, and that was the way I could gain confidence and self-esteem. Fifteen years later, I made the Olympics, and that was a dream come true—that’s really what the kid in me wanted. Whenever I put the green and gold on, I was representing myself, my family, Aboriginal people, and Australia.

I would have been under six years of age when I found out I was adopted. I’m probably very lucky that my mum, Pat, had to adopt a child out when she was young. What better person to teach you about adoption than someone who’s gone through it?

The time for me when I learned that I had depression was the same year that I met my biological mum for the first time. I’d missed my third Olympics by 1/10th of a second, and I’d had a relationship breakup that I’d been in for a couple of years.

We’re pretty tough people, human beings, but we can’t deal with it when too much loads up. There’s something that’ll give. I wasn’t sleeping, my mood had dropped, and my overall well-being was coming downhill. When I noticed it was hard just to put my shoes on to go to the track and put my training gear on—put my tights on—I thought, “It’s normally not this hard to get up and do these things.”

My friends at Beyond Blue could probably hear what was going through my mind. I’d never gone down the path of needing the service, but when I became aware that I had depression, I just went into action mode: “Okay, let’s find out about it. Okay, it’s quite common. Let’s go to the best people who can help me.”

Anyone going through depression, your first instinct is probably, “Nah, I’ll be right. I’ll just keep toughing this out.” But I’m grateful I realized that this is like an injury. You can’t keep sprinting on a torn hamstring. You need to stop training; you need to put the brakes on. That was the same thing with depression.

I thought, “Let’s fully think about rebuilding. Let’s get from a limp to a walk, from a walk to a jog, from a jog to a sprint.” I got back to an Australian team, went to the Commonwealth Games, and I wore green and gold one more time. I was really proud of myself for getting back.

I started doing role model work and ambassador work with Beyond Blue. If I can help someone get through their challenges, I’ll be happy. I’m glad I got onto it quickly and reached out at the time, because it actually helped.

Don’t be afraid to go and talk.

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