Grace Tame on how sexual assault survivors can share their story with people they trust

9th November, 2021    |    By  Reach out Australia    |     742

If you’ve been sexually assaulted, and you haven’t told anyone about what happened, you’re probably feeling pretty isolated. It’s not easy opening up to people around you, and you could even be worried about what they’ll say, think, and do after you tell them. That’s why we made this video with the help of Grace Tame, 2021 Australian of the Year.

While her abuse was occurring, Grace felt alone. Eventually, she opened up to another teacher at her school, who said he believed her without hesitation.

“It was a pivotal moment of validation, acceptance, implicit belief,” she said, “and it was the catalyst that allowed me to move forward to the next step because I had solidarity. I had at least one other person in my corner to enable me to move forward.”

But something Grace also makes clear is that sharing your story is something that needs to happen on your terms. It should only happen when you feel comfortable and safe doing it. For more articles and videos about how survivors can heal and recover, go to  https://au.reachout.com/challenges-and-coping/sexual-assault


Also check the related topics:  

Sexual assault

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Video Transcription

Grace Tame on how sexual assault survivors can share their story with people they trust

Hello, I’m Grace Tame. I’m 26 years old and I live down here in Hobart, Nipaluna on the island of Lutruwita or Tasmania. I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. When I was 15 years old, I was suffering from anorexia. And one of the teachers at my school, a 58-year-old head of maths and science preyed upon me, started grooming me before raping me, and continuing to abuse me for a period of months. I then disclosed at only 16, interestingly, to another male teacher. And today, in this video,
I am going to be talking to you about disclosure, about how to do so safely, how to know who are the right people to talk to, but ultimately remembering that disclosure must always be on your terms. (ambient music) You can ask yourself some questions, for instance, do you feel ready to disclose? What else is going on in your life? Are there other things, are there other moving parts that aren’t certain that might complicate things even further, that might prevent you from being able to just solely focus

on the one thing of disclosing this story? Are there people that you can trust? Are there ways of guaranteeing that this disclosure can be contained to just the people you want to disclose to? (upbeat music) You can never be forced into making a disclosure, and you can also tell as much, or as little as you would like to. You can share every detail, you can share some details, you can just give a brief overview. And also, if somebody asks you a question that you don’t want to answer about your disclosure,
you don’t have to answer it. (ambient music) When choosing somebody to disclose to, it should be someone that you have a strong, trusted relationship with already. You don’t wanna be disclosing to somebody who makes you feel uncomfortable, who you don’t know, and where possible, it’s best to disclose to somebody who respects confidentiality. So that might even be someone who is bound by confidentiality agreements, such as a psychologist or a therapist, because then you can guarantee that there is a level of containment to the disclosure.

(ambient music) So, you need to make sure that, throughout the whole process of both disclosure and recovery, that you have support around you, whether that’s in the form of immediate family and friends and the community or professional support from psychologists, sexual assault services, those sorts of things, and that you have enough time to take care of yourself properly, and get back in touch with simple, meaningful values, family time, downtime, getting in touch with nature, eating well, exercising, sleeping, minimal toxic behaviour.

I’m not here to tell people whether or not they should or shouldn’t drink, but things like that aren’t particularly helpful. You really want to get back to your true self.

Video by ReachOut