Video Transcription
Get to know anxiety – racing heart
As a child, I was extremely shy and anxious about things at school, especially participating in school activities. I just thought it was normal to feel that way and to avoid certain situations. I think before my first major panic attack, I remember being around 18 or 19, hanging out with some friends at the cinema, and feeling my heart racing, thinking that it wasn’t quite right. My first instinct was to wonder if I was possibly having a heart attack. I kept checking my pulse throughout the movie to make sure I was still ticking.
Then, in my early 20s, around 19 or 20, I woke up one morning, and the first thing I felt was my heart racing a million miles an hour, almost as if it was jumping out of my body. Once again, my initial thought was that I was having a heart attack. From there, I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like I was out of my body, almost like I was dying. I wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening. I didn’t want to bother anyone.
At that age, I kept a lot of personal struggles to myself and just put on a brave front. I remember one morning, probably around 3 a.m., and even though I’m not religious, I prayed and said, “If I can survive this, I promise I’ll go to the doctor.” A few days later, I made an appointment, went to the doctor, and told him what I was experiencing, but I got no resolution. I ended up seeing seven different doctors. When they couldn’t easily diagnose me, they just sent me away not knowing what to do.
Unfortunately, my diagnosis didn’t come until I had given up work because I was unable to cope, and my life seemed to disappear due to anxiety. It wasn’t until I realised, “Is this agoraphobia?” and someone said, “Yes, you are.” I went out and bought books, and suddenly it all clicked. I had all these symptoms, but I didn’t know what to do next. I was so relieved to finally have an answer. I knew what I was battling.
My key advice would be to talk, to not be ashamed of what you’re going through, and to speak to family and friends.
Video by Beyond Blue
