Body Image and Friends

27th April, 2017    |    By  ReachOut    |     1.8k

Sometimes our friends don’t always make us feel great about ourselves. Whether it’s an unintentional comment or unfair comparisons- at the end of the day feeling down on your body sucks, not matter where it’s coming from. But as ReachOut Producer Dylan found out, there are lots of reasons to feel good about yourself. It just comes down to remembering them all.


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Body Image and Friends

This video was made by young people between the ages of 16 and 25 as part of the ReachOut produces program.

My best friend, 16, who’s really good at honesty, he was just like, “Look, your stuff isn’t—don’t try to work on your words and your personality. You don’t get them as a grown-up the way you do in high school, right?” Bored, or if you do, they do a fabulous or hurt less, depending on the event. Coming from the more stable, this gets kind of lucked out. I think that’s mostly an unchanging thing about you, you should probably like, you know, be okay about it.

So, two years ago, there was an intervention, and I was just comfort eating to the extent that I was basically 20 kilos heavier. I wasn’t taking care of myself. So, yeah, they commented on how I was, but it was in regards to my health. My mother, who’s quite a traditional mother, she kind of is quite feminine, and so with a daughter like me, she always likes to say, “You wear those boots, you’re never gonna get a guy.”

My sister, because she’s only four years older than me, you know, when we’re fighting, would make jokes about my weight. But she, again, she struggled just as much with her appearance growing up, so I don’t blame her for that. The older generation, they don’t really understand, and they’ll make comments like, “Oh, you’ve put on a lot of weight,” or, “Oh, you’re looking a bit big.”

And I’m like, “Oh, okay.” Then I got home and thought about the day. I lost a little weight and then my people would compliment me on that, but then that didn’t really help in some ways. I know I felt like it was kind of triggering. I compared my appearance to others every day, everyone around me. I’m just like, “Where do I fit into this value system or whatever?”

It would have been awesome to be, like, taller, generic, hotter, bigger, whatever—all of the things I can’t be. I surrounded myself with friends who have rather large breasts, and they can get a bit, you know, whatever. People are just constantly posting photos of themselves, and you’re like, “Why don’t I look like them?”

It’s often because they’re struggling with their own feelings of inadequacy. Basically, I had this idea in my head that your physical appearance equates to your self-worth, and however you will see you. You can’t do it. It’s not healthy to do. That’s not healthy, to compare yourself.

I like a good run just because it makes me feel good. I walk it off afterwards. I found a really supportive group. It’s not just about, “Oh, we’re going to get buff. We’re gonna do this and that.” I hear about it—we’re going to exercise because it’s gonna help you in your mind.

I find clothes help a lot. It does help to, like, have a certain kind of style that you feel comfortable in. I’ve managed to find a group of friends, and my family in particular, who are also really supportive and encouraging about what I’d like to experiment with, with the way I look.

I think taking selfies is great, and I think that it totally can make you feel great.

ReachOut.com provides practical tools and support to help you get through everything from everyday issues to tough times. Check it out for more info on mental health, peer support forums, and even apps to help you deal with stress and anxiety.

Video by Reach Out