Video Transcription
Ben from Naked Farmer on Anxiety
I think it takes a lot of guts to get your gear off, as it takes a lot of guts to talk about mental health.
Growing up, I was always a very anxious kid. I would never leave my mum’s side or my parents’ side. I never did like school sports or swimming sports. And as embarrassing as it is to say, it wasn’t until I was like 10 when I could actually shower by myself because I didn’t want to be alone in the room or anything.
I would do the grocery shop, and I’d have my list like to the tee—what aisles I could get in and out of as quickly as I could because I didn’t want to be there. And when I went to go through the checkout, I’d always chicken out. This happened five times in a row, and Grandma caught on to what was going on. She knew that something wasn’t right. I just told her that I didn’t like shopping because I didn’t like people.
That’s when Grandma took me to our family doctor, and that’s when she said, “You’re having anxiety attacks.” I was just like, “Oh, is that what it is?”
But it wasn’t until about three years ago when we lost our family home to the fire that I really started coming out of my shell. Because Dad, Grandpa, and Grandma gave me the task of being in charge of the rebuild. I didn’t want to let the family down, and they really pushed me to do it.
I think that’s the best thing that ever happened to me because it’s really what pushed me out of my shell. That’s what changed who I am and got rid of my anxiety. It’s always there, I still get anxious, but it’s nowhere near what it used to be. It’s controlled. That’s probably the best word to use—controlled.
When I went to the doctor, she sat down with me, and we did a hierarchy from 10 to 1. We had to try and make it down to 1. So we’d start at 10, something simple like making a phone call, and I worked my way up to doing the shopping, doing a full shop. That helped me set goals and be like, “Right, I want to achieve this one this week and this one the next week.” That was something that really helped me.
But the number one thing that really helps me is food. If I eat well, I feel good. And if I feel good, I’m happy. I think that’s the game changer for me. That’s what’s really changed things for me. If I eat poorly, I go into a ball. I’m just like, “Don’t talk to me. I’m going to watch Netflix and lock myself in my room,” sort of thing.
I do other things too. I always try to take time out—it’s pretty hard when you’ve got a busy schedule—but I go check the sheep. I’ll put my phone on airplane mode so no one can contact me. I’ll just go check the sheep in silence, take my time, make sure all the sheep are looked after, everything’s good, and then when I leave the paddock, I turn my phone back on and off airplane mode and get back to my day.
To me, that’s sort of meditation in a way. That’s my break. That’s my little zen moment, you could say. Because down here at Lonsdale Park, it’s just magic. It’s like a home away from home. It’s the gum trees, the Grampians, the landscape, and the animals. It’s really home.
