There are five little words that no one in a relationship wants to hear: “We need to break up.”
Coping with ‘After the break up’ can be tough
Isn’t it funny how five little words can change your present and your future instantaneously? Sometimes no matter how hard you try or how hard you work at something, sometimes it just isn’t meant to be. The thing about break ups is that not only are they hard and hurtful, but they can also get ugly… and ugly is never fun, so from personal experience here are some little tips to help you and your partner be civil with one another in an attempt to not make things harder than what they need to be.
Firstly, I would not recommend using Social media as an outlet to vent your feelings. I understand it can be comforting to express these feelings through a status and that you want your friends to be aware of your parting ways, but your business should remain your business. By advertising your feelings or expressing a disliking towards someone over social media it provides others with an excuse to become involved in your private life and to post their opinions on the situation or towards someone which doesn’t always end well. The last thing you need when going through a grieving process or a tough time is people ganging up or taking sides: it only adds to the drama and puts a bigger burden on your shoulders. It’s unnecessary and makes everything a lot more painful not only for you, but for your ex-partner as well. Remember that you cared for this person a lot, otherwise you wouldn’t have been in a relationship with them, and feelings don’t turn themselves off at the drop of a hat.
Another important thing to remember is that if you share property with this person or bought something together, such as furniture, a TV or a pet, be willing to compromise on who gets to keep what or which items are best shared. It isn’t fair to be selfish in a parting situation, as you both worked together to purchase these items. On top of this, keep in mind it is never a good idea to damage someone else’s property. It can actually be classed as destruction of property or vandalism, and the last thing you want during a tough time is a fine or an offense.
My most important piece of advice I can give you during a time such as this is to reach out to your loved ones and always be honest. As hard as it is to talk, talking openly about your feelings with your family or friends, or maybe even a help line can be an essential step for you to help move on after ending a relationship with someone. It is never a good idea to make up rumours or to be dishonest about another person’s actions during a time like this, as it can dig you deeper and deeper into an emotional state trying to keep up with any lies you make up about someone else. The truth always has a way of coming out, no matter how hard you try to fabricate it. Honesty is the best policy.
And lastly, during a break up don’t be afraid to treat yourself! Even if it is something as simple as a haircut, or a new outfit or even a nice lunch out with a good friend: do something nice for YOU that will make you smile. Take care of yourself and don’t let yourself be completely taken over by your emotions. Investing time in yourself is not a selfish act, it is simply an act of reminding yourself that you still care. And for the really bad days, never forget your good old chocolate bars and series re-runs (Friends is my personal favourite).
Chin up, stay strong and love yourself.
Jess x
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