Video Transcription

The Sex Talk

This is a video about SEX. Do not watch this video if you are super-young or don’t want to know anything about sex. You have been warned… Hey, you! My name is Thomas “TomSka” Ridgewell, and sex is awesome. You’re gonna have it, if you haven’t already. Your parents DEFINITELY had it, and your grandparents… EEEEUUUUURRRRRGGGGGHHH… But despite being one of the most natural and exciting parts of being alive, it’s totally scary and confusing if you don’t know the ins and outs! So, in the interest of making your life a little less awkward, I thought I would teach you everything that I think you need to know in as little time as possible. Welcome to The Sex Talk.

Now, sex is when people use their bodies to make themselves and others feel super good. But before we get started, it’s important to know what we’re all working with. First: if you’re born with a penis, it’ll look a little something like this. Penises come in all different shapes, sizes, and colours, and they’re all totally awesome. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. They stand to attention when excited and sleep it out the rest of the time. These are the testicles! Sperm (or ‘Baby Juice’) is made here. Please… please don’t hit these. That’s… NO.

Second: If you’re born with a vagina, it’ll probably look a bit like this. Much like penises, they come in a wide range of shapes and sizes, and they’re all equally awesome. They’re also a little more complicated. On top of naturally cleaning themselves out once a month after there was no baby-making, a vagina can also make itself wet when in the mood for sex. Don’t ask me how it does this. I’m not a scientist. Also, if sperm makes its way into a vagina—babies happen! YAY! Or ‘Boo’… errm…

Moving up the body, ladies also have breasts (or ‘boobies’!). Again, all different shapes and sizes, and all totally awesome. Also, milk comes out of them when you have a baby. How cool is that?! When it comes to using your bits, everyone likes something different. Some boys like girls. Some girls like boys. Sometimes boys like boys and girls like girls. Some folk like everyone, and some folk don’t like anyone (at least not sexually). Some people don’t agree with the gender they were assigned at birth. Some people just wanna do their own thing. And all of these are just fine, no matter what any book, bigot, or bully might tell you. Our sexualities and genders aren’t one or the other. It’s all spread over a whole wide spectrum of preferences and things that feel natural to us. We’re complicated.

Uh, sidenote: If what you’re into is against the law… don’t do it. If anyone involved, including yourself, is not a legal consenting adult, just… don’t do it.

Losing your virginity is typically defined as the moment when a penis first enters a vagina. But as that obviously doesn’t apply to everyone, let’s just talk about… everything. When it comes to the decision about when you should start using your sexy bits, there are two things you should take into consideration. Depending on where you live, the age at which you can start using your sexy bits… it kinda varies. Here in England, you need to be at least 16 years old. In America, it ranges from 16-18, and in Japan, it’s… 13… oh, Japan.

Breaking these laws is a really bad idea, and they’re typically in place to protect you. So please, be careful. Sidenote: If you’re under the age of 18, don’t take naked photographs of yourself; that is child porn and super illegal. Also, really embarrassing if people share it around. But mostly illegal!

Second and most importantly, when it comes to the decision about doing the sexy for the first time, you need to be ready. You need to decide that it’s what YOU want. No one else has the right to make that decision for you. What happens to your body should be your choice and yours alone. Personally, I wasn’t ready for my first time, and I let someone else pressure me into doing it and… it SUCKED.

Another sidenote: While we’re on the subject of ‘Virginity’, most vaginas have a hymen, which is a stretchy piece of skin that kinda hangs out in the opening. There’s this common misbelief that a woman’s first time is supposed to involve a lot of pain and blood as the hymen rips, but that’s not really true. With the right amount of lubricant or foreplay, most hymens should relax and kinda just make way for a penis or anything else that’s going in there.

So, here we are at ‘sex’, which is typically when you take your sexy bits and mash them into someone else’s. There are a lot of ways to have sex, and here are a few of them: NO. STOP IT. IT’S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE.

Now, before jumping headfirst… or… genital first into the world of sex, it’s extremely important to use protection. And I’m not talking about guns. I learned that the hard way. Protection comes in many different forms, such as:

Condoms are extremely necessary to keep you safe from the many sexually transmitted diseases you could catch. The other methods, however, are there to protect you from the worst sexually transmitted disease there is: babies. Seriously. If you’re not ready to take on the responsibility of a tiny little human, use protection. It takes one sperm to get someone pregnant, and you release hundreds of millions of them during sex. Otherwise, you’ll have to decide whether to raise a child you weren’t ready for or have an abortion. And neither of those decisions are particularly fun to make.

Sidenote: Last one—I promise… While we’re on the subject of STDs, catching stuff DOES happen, so get yourself tested often and be open about your sexual history with every new partner. I mean… not THAT open, obviously, but you get the idea. I didn’t feel like screaming this one.

As someone whose first time was the result of emotional manipulation, it’s important to me that you hear this: You NEVER have to do anything you don’t want to do. You are NEVER obliged to sleep with someone, even if that person is already your partner. Any type of sexual activity where someone has not given their consent or has revoked it is sexual assault or rape. And what is consent? Consent is a willing, sober, and continuous ‘YES’. On the other hand, if you are ever deciding whether or not to sleep with someone who has not or cannot give you their consent, then I want you to remember this little song: [intro music] DON’T.

Sadly, rape and sexual assault do happen. If it has happened to you, please do not feel guilty or ashamed, and certainly don’t feel afraid to come forward. It is NEVER your fault.

While I’ve given you an introduction to the crazy, confusing, and varied world of sex, you might still be asking yourself: “But what is normal?” And the answer to that is: everything. There are no right or wrong ways to do anything. What you do with your body is your business, and what you do with someone else is between you and them alone. As long as you’re not victimizing anyone or breaking any laws—go for it.

The girl who’s had sex with a dozen different guys isn’t a ‘whore’. And the guy who hasn’t had sex with anyone isn’t a ‘loser’. Unless his name is Jim. No one likes Jim.

No one is better or worse than anyone else for doing what they want to do. Well, that’s sex! Use protection, don’t break the law, and remember: you’re normal whatever you’re into. Even if that’s nothing. Good luck gettin’ lucky! Or not. TomSka out!

So, that was a video. I deleted a scene that was a little too hardcore for this video that actually taught you how to DO sexy things. I’ve uploaded that to my second channel, so check it out if you really want to. Also, go check out Laci Green’s channel. She does a lot of sex talk, and it’s pretty awesome. So if you want to learn more—go see her! Okay… bye…