Video Transcription
QLives: Young People
The hardest thing about being young and queer is, I think, your identity not being recognized in life. We get, especially in school, boxed into these really rigid expectations of male and female. You know, are you gay or are you straight, kind of thing?
My primary relationship is with a trans guy, so we’re often read as straight, and neither of us considers ourselves to be that way. I don’t fit in a box nice and neatly, which is why I would identify as queer.
Prejudice towards queer people isn’t always as obvious these days. There’s still a lot of ignorant comments that go on and ignorant questions, but I think we’re getting to the stage where it’s more like well-meaning homophobia rather than being put in jail homophobia.
I could walk down the street and I thought I was just walking normally or whatever, but people would yell from cars. I’ve had that on several occasions. It’s amazing the difference that harassment can make, because you go from being, you know, yourself—happy and, you know, excited and doing anything—and then you just go into, “Am I going to cop it later?”
And that’s just H—nobody should have to experience that.
My close male friend texted me and was like, “Oh, so I hear you’re bi now, that’s really hot.” And it just made me feel like crap, because I felt like this person who had had a really close friendship with now only saw me as like a porn trope. Every time I think about that, it just makes me feel like GH.
So it would be really great if medical professionals could be more kind of frank and open about talking about sexuality with people, but also not make assumptions about the kinds of relationships and sex that the people in front of them are having.
I don’t think there’s enough information out there. I mean, our sex education curriculum basically provides this one-sided, you know, “This is how sex works.” It was always boys and girls do this together, no understanding that there are trans people, no acknowledgement that there are queer people.
People like us, you know, as we grow up, get ourselves into situations that we haven’t been properly prepared for, and that’s kind of terrifying.
One of the biggest challenges that I’ve encountered as a queer person is connecting with queer community, to be honest. Going to events and having a boyfriend at the time and not knowing whether or not I could talk about him, and maybe when I’m in queer spaces, assumed to be straight or less legitimately queer.
We have to stop picking on each other, I think, and really support each other.
The hardest thing about being young and queer is accepting yourself. I think the best thing that’s helped me is making queer friends, ’cause then you’re not alone.
I played soccer with an LGBTI soccer team for the first time in my life. I didn’t have to worry about, “Are these people thinking, ‘Oh, you know, he’s so gay,'” or whatever. But now, I’m just the other worry was that, “Oh, I’m not very good.”
I’m a lot more comfortable in my queer identity, and maybe some of that has been due to just getting a little bit older and more comfortable with myself in general.
So the most awesome thing about being young and queer is that, basically, we can express ourselves however we want. I’m proud of who I am. I’m proud of being gay. I’m proud of being gender fluid.
We have to break down those old stereotypes and those old expectations of what things should be and just be.
