Video Transcription

Proud to Be | The Journey

So, where I grew up is a very, very country place. The version of masculinity that I was seeing around me and growing up around was very restrictive and very prescriptive. I just never really saw very many alternative versions of masculinity that I felt I could aspire to as a person. I think I came out as non-binary in the first place to invite people to know me better, to get to know the things about me that might conform to my assigned gender at birth and those things that don’t. So, in that sense, it was really an invitation into knowing me as a person, not necessarily knowing my non-binary identity.

Growing up, I don’t think I really ever considered myself as straight. I always assumed that I was too young to know, whenever someone else asked. But I definitely knew that I wasn’t attracted to men, so I thought, “That must mean I’m not attracted to anyone,” because it’s drilled into people’s heads how a woman should be. I definitely think the hardest person to come out to is yourself, because it can be hard to sit with those feelings. And then, all of a sudden, you realize you might be different from everyone else, and maybe there’s this place, you know, suddenly, that you can’t fit into anymore.

So, I think that’s why it’s so important to find community. I identify as bisexual, and I’ve had relationships with both men and women. I think it’s a bit of a unique experience for myself because I’d never thought about it. I’d never questioned my own sexuality until my close friends did, and they came out to me and told me that they were bisexual, which made me think about mine. Because I was like, “I’ve never been exposed to this.” And then I started thinking about it, and I was like, “Yeah, you know what, I think I’m bisexual too,” which brought up a lot of questions in my head. The more I thought about it, the more I was like, “Yeah, I think this bisexual label really does fit my identity.”

Then, I actually got into a relationship with a woman, so that kind of really affirmed it. You do not have to come out. It’s a personal choice. And once you do find that safe space, it can be a community, it can be your family, it could be one single person. And then, if you do want to come out, you can tell them about your experience. And if they’re not sure how to react to that, you can guide them. The best part about identities is that you’re not just one thing.

Video by headspace