What is consent? Jimmy Investigates

4th May, 2021    |    By  The 4:01 Show    |     843

A UK video, but the topic of consent is international.
Where Jimmy s=talks about the law, check out Youth Law Australia for the law in your state.

Consent. What is it? How do you know if someone is giving it? What advice would you give someone who’s feeling pressured? Get the facts from an expert, and hear what Jack and Dean & Bethan had to say.


Also check the related topics:  

Sex and consent

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What is consent? Jimmy Investigates

Hello Timi! Hello Jimmy! Alright, so this is a bit personal, but I feel like we’re friends now, so it’s okay. When have you officially given your permission to someone to get it on in a relationship? Searching for answers. Please wait. Consent. It’s got people talking a lot lately in the news and online, but what does it actually mean? We all think we know what it means, but how do you give it and how do you know when somebody has given it? Today, I’m house-sitting for a friend—look, it’s nice, isn’t it?

And I’ve invited some YouTubers over—some mates of mine—to get their thoughts on consent. I hope they take their shoes off! Here they are! Hi! <laughter> Hi Jimmy! So, there’s been a lot of talk about the word consent lately… You guys even wrote a song about it! What is your understanding of that word? What does it mean? I guess it’s about being very definite and explicit about what you want, what you don’t want, especially with somebody else. I think you can have a conversation with another person, but it’s also saying yes with your body and the other person understanding through that body language that you definitely mean the word yes. Even if they’re saying the word yes, they might not actually mean it because you can see through what they’re actually saying with their mannerisms. So, it’s important to establish boundaries. How would you do that? I mean, how firm do you need to be? I think you just gotta kinda like say how it is, like, “Do you want to do this? It’s okay if not.” I think the conversation never ends as well. Even if you said yes at the start, I think you should both be constantly reassuring each other. I’ve absolutely been in a position where I’ve said yes and now I’m like no, I don’t really want to. And I’ve said so. “No, I want to stop now, cause I don’t really feel comfortable with it.”

You guys wrote a song about consent. We did. <music> Consent! …Only with your consent! Why did you decide to write that song? We were making a joke about Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines,” and we were saying we didn’t notice any songs that covered the opposite ground. It’s not even just Robin Thicke. It’s said in so many songs. It’s, “I know you want it,” like people were kinda like, “How do you know?” I do not know you, Jessie J. It took us four months to get it down. Yes, well, the subject matter is tricky because we do comedy stuff, but we don’t want to sit there like we’re making fun of it or laughing too much. There’s been a lot of talk of consent on YouTube lately. What did you guys make of all that? I think it was one of the worst things that happened to YouTube, but it brought out conversations about it, so that means we weren’t afraid to talk about it. It means that the people that were watching the videos when we were talking about it were educated on it. People who may have experienced these sorts of horrible things in their lives saw that it wasn’t a bad thing to open up about it and talk about it. It showed that we weren’t afraid to address this sort of topic, and I think a lot of people have been in the past. Well, thanks very much, guys. Thanks for chatting to me. Thank you, Jimmy!

Right…get out please! Okay! I’m taking all I want. I’m taking this beanbag. Can I have this? When I’ve read about various situations to do with consent, they’ve all seemed very, very different. So, I’m heading off now to find an expert to find out exactly what it means. Hey Glenn! Hi! So, we’ve been talking about consent, and hopefully, you’re going to give me some facts. So, I’ve got some quickfire questions here that hopefully you’ll be able to help me out with. What does consent mean, Glenn? So, consent is giving your permission for something to happen. So, that is not just a yes or no, but your permission also with understanding of the possible consequences of what might happen.

And what about consent in relation to the law? If you have sex under 16 in our country (UK), it is against the law. But remember that the law is there to protect young people, not just to prosecute them. So, if you’re under 16, you can still go to places like this—the Well Centre in Streatham—and receive information, guidance, and advice under 16. And that’s a confidential setting, which means that everything you tell us is going to be protected. If they’ve been tricked, coerced, or pressured in any way, then that’s when the law comes into play and is used to protect that person in that situation. What is the difference between communication and pressure? I would see communication as putting across your feelings, your wants and desires, and also listening to someone else’s. Pressure is trying to persuade someone. That’s quite dangerous with sex. If someone is unsure or doesn’t want something to happen, then that doesn’t mean, “Persuade me.” That is not a good thing to do during sex. I guess it’s about listening really. And it’s about empathizing a little bit.

When we talk about consent, we say that it needs to be enthusiastic. So, when we met today, we shook hands. We didn’t talk about shaking hands. I didn’t ask you, “Can I shake your hand?” But I knew you wanted to take my hand. It was the communication between us that allowed that. The eye contact, the feel between hands. Sex can be similar to that. So, if someone is shying away or being silent, it can also mean they’re not giving consent. I think that’s a really good way to look at it because body language is so important. Yeah, and if in doubt, then check. What about different types of behavior? So, if you agree to kiss somebody, does that mean automatically that you agree to do something more than that? So, if you have had sex with them before, then the next time, you still need to check that they still want to. If you love somebody and you’re in a relationship with somebody, does that give automatic consent? Love is an emotion and a feeling, whereas consent is giving your opinion or your decision to have that sexual act with that person, with the awareness of what might happen. Just being in love with someone doesn’t mean you’re entitled to have sex with them.

Well, thanks very much for talking with me, Glenn. That was really helpful. Thank you. Consent isn’t just as straightforward as saying no. There’s a lot more to consider. If you’re worried about any issues we’ve talked about, or have any questions about consent, then talk to somebody or check out the links below. Don’t forget, we want to hear from you. Leave me a comment below saying what advice you would give to a friend who’s in a relationship but is feeling pressured to do something they don’t want to do. I really do love hearing your thoughts, guys. Next week, make sure you join us—it’s going to be a good one. We’ve got some great guests. And make sure you subscribe as well. See you soon! You know what pyramids are? Yeah. Well, the thing with pyramids is that if you don’t finish them, they’re pointless. Good one. There you go! Look, you put me on the spot and that’s what you get.