Video Transcription

Consent – answering your questions

Hey guys, I’m Jeff.
And I’m Julia.
We’re from SHQ, and we’re answering some common questions about the National Condom Day themes of the year, which are testing, condoms, consent, and pleasure. So today, we’re answering a couple of questions about consent.

When we’re talking about consent, we’re talking about getting and giving permission for anything sexual, whatever that may be. So you always have to get consent every single time for any activity, and you’re always looking for enthusiastic consent. Very, very important.

How do I ask for consent without being awkward?

We get this question all the time, and I think what we usually say is that it’s actually not awkward at all. There are lots of different ways you can ask for consent. You don’t have to give someone a consent form or say, “Do you consent to this?” But it’s really about checking in with someone, e.g., asking: “Is this feeling good?” “Do you want to keep going?” “Do you like this?” “Do you want me to stop?” “Do you want a break?” All of those things are consent checking. It’s not something that’s just done once at the start before sex; it’s something that happens throughout. So checking in a couple of times, that’s the best way to ask for consent.

All right, so second question: How can you be sure they mean yes to sex?

So if you’re ever unsure, the best way to find out is just to ask. So just communicate verbally. Ask the person: “Are you feeling alright?” “Do you want to keep going?” “Do you want to do this?” It’s important that their body language is actually matching up with what they say. So, if they’re saying yes, you want them to be almost throwing themselves at you, looking for that enthusiastic consent. If that body language looks like they actually really want to be there, which is matching up with that verbal cue. And if you’re ever doubtful, the best thing to do is to stop.

So communication is key.

Great, thank you so much.

Thanks, guys!
Video by SHQ