Video Transcription
Coming out – Robs Story
Hi, my name’s Robert. I’m a young Aboriginal man, 25 years old, and I’m also bisexual. I love my family, my friends, and I live in the city. I work as a Physical Wellbeing worker, and I’m a songwriter, an up-and-coming actor, dancer, and I also sing, but not in front of everyone because I’m shy (whispering). (Laughs). And that’s me.
Yeah, I’d love to see, first of all, the biggest change being no more racism. I think that’s the biggest form of discrimination in the world. Secondly, everyone should be on the same level—no matter what sex, gender, race, how they were brought up, whether they have a mother and a father, two mothers, or two fathers, who their brothers and sisters are, or whether they’re wealthy or poor.
When I came out, I felt like the biggest weight was lifted off my shoulders. It does take time. I knew who I was at about 17 or 18, but it took me until I was around 22. It took a long time, especially because of those little voices in your head, the self-doubt. It’s hard, especially when you’re so close with everyone in a community environment. Even though it’s accepted in our community, it’s still really hard because there’s that fear of whether they will still accept me.
I went to a function, my first function after I came out. It was a community one, and all the boys were there. One of my cousins came up to me and said, “I don’t care who you are or who you sleep with, to us, you’re still Rob, and you’re still our boy.” Hearing that means the world because you know they’re there for you no matter what, but to actually hear it is something else. I had it pretty easy, and when I went into work, I was walking around, glowing. It was amazing to finally be free.
The support of my family has always been there. We have a pretty big family. When I say family, I don’t just mean immediate family—I’m talking about my mum’s sisters, cousins, aunties, uncles. It’s a really big family. When I came out, I had tremendous support, especially from my straight friends, my brother boys. They were so supportive, and so was everyone else. But there was that little question mark over people’s heads when I came out as bisexual. A lot of people thought I was gay and didn’t believe me when I came out as bisexual. They were waiting for me to come out fully. I told them, “No, this is me, and you can have your opinion, but I want to live my life without holding back now.”
Going through depression and seeking help made me realize how important it is. It took me a while to understand that. It takes time, but once you look inside yourself, you start noticing the signs—if you’re active and you stop playing sports, that’s a sign you might be depressed. If you’re having trouble sleeping or eating, or if you’re angry all the time, there are so many different signs and symptoms.
When I went to see a counsellor, it was refreshing. I walked out feeling a little bit better because it was someone who didn’t know me or my past. She had a completely different perspective on everything, and she gave me the best advice—keep going to counselling. At first, I thought it was ridiculous, like why would I keep going when I’m happy? But the thing is, if you keep going while you’re happy, the minute you start feeling a little bit down, you can catch it early. You don’t have to go back to square one.
As soon as you notice any signs or symptoms, go see a doctor and attack it head-on. I wish I had done that sooner, but now I’m at a place where I’m happy with who I am. I’m chasing my dreams because I’m treating myself well, and I’m not letting anyone hold me back—and neither should you.
Video by Beyond Blue
