Video Transcription
Sex and Consent
We know consent isn’t something you ask once and say, “Cool, you’ve consented forever for everything. Let’s keep going.” It’s something that needs regular check-ins. Even being in a relationship isn’t necessarily a reason that consent is always present. You know, it’s an ongoing conversation.
I know you want it, I know you want it. Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke—good or bad? First of all, he’s not really asking for consent, which links back to the whole point of this show. He’s just kind of saying, “You want this, you want this,” which can be seen as pressuring a partner into doing something with you.
My friends make fun of me for not making a move on my girlfriend yet. How do I know when the time is right? Let it be a conversation between you and your partner, or maybe someone that’s a bit more qualified, besides your best mate who’s just saying, “Haha, you haven’t kissed a girl yet.”
The word that kind of jumps out for me is communication—communicating with people in a way that is clear and agreed upon. Especially as a woman, going through school and stuff, it’s always like, “You know, be careful about your drinks, be careful when you go out.” I think there’s a huge sort of fear state that becomes part of the language and conversation of consent.
What I’ve learned through this process is starting to look at how the conversation around consent sort of moves beyond just sexual harassment and sexual assault, but actually permeates through every single thing that we do.
Is it okay to wear underwear two days in a row? [Applause] Yes, it is.
Six ways to say no: I could say, “I’m not feeling it,” “I’m not feeling it,” “Not feeling it.”
Question here: Is it okay to watch porn to learn about sex? Watching porn to learn about sex is like watching The Fast and the Furious to learn how to drive. It’s just not a depiction of reality. We know that pornography shows us a lot of things, but it also doesn’t show us so many things that are essential and happen in real life, things like consent, things like body diversity.
We’re not here to judge anyone or shame anyone. We think it’s all about, like, if someone does choose to watch or engage in pornography, that they understand it’s not a reflection of reality and that it is entertainment.
Just for you, Bloom. Just for you, Bloom. It’s Bloom. I can flow flowers, murmurs. You’re going to run around like a headless chicken.
How do you know when you’re ready to have sex? What do we think? Tam, you go to kiss your date, and they pull away. Should you just pull them close and passionately kiss them like in the movies and shoot your shot again? This is not okay. You could not go in and kiss your date. Body language is really important when it comes to consent. If someone’s pulling away, that’s a pretty clear sign that they’re not interested in a kiss, so definitely no. That’s why it’s really important to ask. Even if it doesn’t ruin the mood, it might be a bit awkward, but that’s okay. It’s better that it’s a bit awkward than someone being uncomfortable. They could have stinky breath, they might not like you, or they just might not be ready for a kiss at that time.
How can I help teach my parents when they don’t understand my identity? That’s hard. Parents can be really tricky. Hey, yeah, leaning on others and other resources, and other people who can support, is probably really wise. There are absolutely organizations like Minus18, for example, that do really good educational work. They can absolutely help do that educational work for you or with you. Another option is for you to reach out to another trusted adult and see if they can help talk to your parents as well, because I think trying to carry that yourself, especially when it’s with family, can be really complex.
Is it okay to put pineapple on pizza? Yes, Chad has decided to change the scene. You are now working out at a gym.
Michael has been dating Daisy for like four and a half weeks. They’re really serious. Yeah, but it sounds like gossip to me. Like, how did you hear any of this? I mean, obviously, I heard it from other people, and that’s why it’s true.
Is it okay to have different boundaries with different friends? Like, I’ve got a friend who isn’t okay with hugging, and he’s made that really clear, and that’s absolutely okay. That’s a boundary that he’s set. It’s a boundary that I absolutely follow. Then I’ve got friends like Arty, who will absolutely give them a hug. I think, you know, whether we’re setting them or respecting them, it goes both ways.
Video by Mancave
