Video Transcription
Step Back and Think
This happened on James’s 20th birthday. I think I had just gone to sleep, just before midnight, when I was woken by a phone call. It was a police officer. He told me that James had been in a fight, that he had been injured, and that he was in the Royal Melbourne Hospital. I asked if he was all right, but the officer wouldn’t tell me. He just said, “The hospital said you should come straight away.”
James was unconscious when we got there and had to be rushed into surgery. We were told it was very touch and go as to whether he would live or not. Every parent has that feeling of dread when the phone rings in the small hours of the morning. It’s just devastating. You’re in total shock, and your life is turned upside down for many, many years.
Back in 2008, one of my mates, David Mitchell, went out with a big group of friends. They were just out for a fun night, but a few of them got involved in a fight. It escalated from there—bottles were thrown, punches were thrown. David was hit, knocked unconscious, and then had his head stomped on multiple times.
I got the call at about 4 a.m. from one of my best mates. He said they were all at the hospital, almost like a bedside vigil. David was in a coma for nearly two weeks. His life pretty much changed forever that night.
James was a really fun kid—full of life and energy. He loved being at the center of the action. He was lively, intelligent, and just loved life. Now, his life is dictated by so many external factors. He has ongoing health issues. He’s developed severe spasticity and contractures from the brain injury. He has to be fed through a tube in his stomach.
When you can’t speak, when your communication is so limited, and when you’re living in a group home—it’s pretty rough. At the time, I felt completely helpless. I wanted to be there, but at the same time, I was probably lucky that I wasn’t.
We’re just lucky that David recovered fully. He can’t play footy ever again, and he’s had to make a few lifestyle changes, but we’re still great mates. In a way, it brought a few of us even closer together.
I probably don’t get recognized too much, but I see some big players who do. They get recognized all the time—sometimes even harassed. Mostly, it’s by fans who want to connect and share positive messages. But there are also opposition supporters who just want to stir things up, especially when the team isn’t doing well.
When you see those red flags, you’ve got to be smarter about the situations you put yourself in. Surround yourself with good people, especially when drinking. It’s everyone’s responsibility to stand up and say no to violence. It can affect your career, but even more significantly, it can affect your life.
The guy who hit David spent a few years behind bars. His life changed forever too—certainly not for the better. David was lucky, but plenty of others aren’t so lucky.
It’s been devastating. We’ve been depressed, we’ve been angry, we’ve been upset. But we also felt compelled to do something positive. We didn’t want this to consume our lives—we wanted to stand up and make a difference.
That’s where our involvement with Step Back Think and other initiatives around violence prevention and education became so important. Teaching young people to look out for each other and avoid these situations has helped us cope.
This is James’s life now, and we are doing our absolute best to make it as good as possible.
Video by stepbackthink.org
