I didn't transition to offend anyone, I did it to feel better about myself

11th February, 2021 | By Elijah Heywire Winner 2021 | 2 min read

Heywire winner, Elijah – Queensland

I have been drawing since I could pick up a pencil.

I felt worthless in primary school. When I was being bullied, art was the only anchor I had.

But then I started high school and made some great friends.

And then there came a time when I had to figure myself out. For me, it was like looking in a mirror and being confused.

I started researching and discovered gender dysphoria; it’s feeling like you’re in the wrong body and being incredibly unhappy with your birth gender.

Mentally, you’re one gender, but your body is the opposite of that — so it creates dysphoria, a feeling of unease and discomfort.

Something just clicked when I found that definition.

I broke down. There was a moment of dread.

But it also felt better to know there’s something to describe the way I feel.

At first, I felt broken. But I found supportive friends online who loved art like I do, and some great friends in my town.

I’ve already done some social transitioning; cutting my hair helped me feel less confused when I look in the mirror.

I plan to go on hormones and do some of the surgery. The rest is kind of scary.

Now I live with my boyfriend. I’ve liked him since before I went through all this and he’s pretty chill about it all.

He calls me Eli. It makes me feel great.

The future feels overwhelming but exciting. I want to be able to animate, bring my characters and stories to life and make games from them.

People have told me that my art means a lot to them. I want to use my art to help other people.

I want people to know that trans people are people, too. I’m still the same person. I’m just trying to be more myself.

I didn’t transition to offend anyone, I did it to feel better about myself.

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